Friends can be fickle creatures - one minute they're with you and the next they can be gone! I've often noticed how a major life change will also change your circle of friends. Moving away from home causes a shift in friends. Getting married changes friendships - you take on some of your spouse's friends and you lose some of yours. Being a widow is no different. One would think that by the time you become a widow your friends should be solidified - not so!
I would have bet money that my very closest friend at the time of my husband's death would stay my closest friend for life, but I would have lost that bet! She and her husband had been a constant presence in the life of my family from the time we moved to Tennessee. We met at church, saw each other almost every Sunday, shared many meals together, and enjoyed many activities together socially. They were there for me when John died and during the months that followed. They helped me figure out what to do with lots of John's things and helped me handle some of the other details. I will be forever grateful for their presence, help and love during that time. Unfortunately, other circumstances caused us to part ways and they are no longer a part of my life. I miss them, but also completely understand that this is a part of moving on.
The good new is that other friendships have been forged. I firmly believe the saying about how God brings friends into our lives for a time, a season, or a lifetime (I'm sure I didn't get that quite right). My "new" friends came from unexpected places and are not people I would have ever thought I'd be close to. One is from my church, but I never knew her well before. We ended up riding in the same car to a women's retreat the year after John died and found out that we really liked each other! Another is a co-worker who is young enough to be my daughter, but we have much in common and enjoy hanging out together. Yet another was the assistant to my dentist and I thought she was quite mean when I had a crown done. Somehow we caught up with each other again and found out that we really like doing things together! All of these women are married or in a committed relationship, which I find rather curious since I'm now single! They've become my "cheerleaders" and they rejoice with me when I make progress on getting my house cleaned out and put on the market. They encourage me to try new things, change my wardrobe, and go on dates (few and far between). They give me an ear when I need to talk or a shoulder when I need to cry. They have wonderful men in their lives who are willing to share them with me for lunch, dinner, a shopping trip, or a night out. Thanks guys!
These aren't my only friends, but are the ones I spend the most time with. There are many others and I am blessed to have each and every one of them. I truly understand how important girlfriends are. When John was alive he wanted to be my best friend and do everything with me. That was fine and we did lots of things together, but the girlfriend element was missing. I'm so glad I've found it now. God's timing is always perfect and I've learned to believe that completely over the past two years.
So, my piece of advice for today is to be open to change and let God lead you. Keep your eyes on Him and listen with an open mind and an open heart. You'll be amazed at who He brings into your life and what He shows you.
Thanks for taking this journey with me....more to come...
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